There’s no place like home for the holidays…

I wasn’t planning on going home to Alaska for Christmas vacation, but I changed my mind. (OK, my family changed it for me. They seemed so put out by me not coming home that I plunked down the dough for the plane ticket.)

So now I’m home! No thanks to America West and their horrendous delays. Engine trouble on an Airbus 319 (?) makes DB an irritated woman. Of course, they have to repair the engine before they can take off. No qualms about that – I certainly wouldn’t want to lose the engines halfway home! But they could’ve handled the waiting period a bit better.

How to piss off passengers:
1) Tell them it’ll be just a few minutes when it’s really going to be hours.

2) Don’t let them get up and wander around the plane while they wait. Airplane seats are too comfortable for that!

3) Don’t give them anything to drink while they wait. (Meanwhile, crank up the heat inside so that everyone gets dehydrated even quicker!)

4) Finally let the passengers out so you can switch to a plane that has a functioning engine, but do it five minutes after all the airport restaurants have closed. (Side note: If you’re the Phoenix airport, decide water fountains are a bad idea and don’t install any anywhere where people can find them.)

5) Load everyone onto the new plane and tell them you’ll be taking off in just a few minutes when the flight attendants have finished preparing.

6) An hour later, tell the passengers that we’ll be ready to leave soon, now that the paperwork is finished, but you’ve just got to load the luggage first.

7) Still don’t serve any drinks. Thirsty, tired passengers are the best kind.

8) Once the flight has left, about 4 hours behind schedule, decline to serve food, even the kind your in-flight magazine claims that you sell for $5. Who wants to eat more than once every 10 hours anyway?

9) Finally serve drinks, but only just once during the 5-hour flight.

10) Passengers don’t want good movies. Play stupid ones, likes The Dukes of Hazzard and Sky High. They’re especially bad because passengers are stuck in a metal tube and can’t escape.

With that off my chest, I have been enjoying my time at home so far. For one thing, it’s beautiful! The mountains are breathtaking. My parents got a new dog – a rescue from Friends of Pet that had been abused. She’s a cute dog, but it’ll take some time to get her to trust humans again.

And, last but not least, I’m home where the majority of my knitting stuff is! (I didn’t take it all with me to grad school because there’s far too much of it.) I have an immense stash of yarn, collected over the last 20 years. Mainly from garage sales and thrift shops – you can get some beautiful yarns if you’re patient. My really nice knitting machine, a Brother 860, is here, too. What should I make?!

This is a very, very small portion of my stash (no, I’m not kidding). The rest is housed in a large closet and several giant black trash bags. I don’t consider it a waste because I will eventually use it all. It’s nice, too, because when I get the urge to knit something, I rarely have to run out and buy yarn – I already have what I need, and at garage sale prices, to boot!

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